2008 Woodie Awards
Four Things That Really Grind My Gears
Josh Mohar
Issue date: 4/2/08 Section: Entertainment
1. Eddie Murphy's current selection of movies, an exercise in cruel and unusual punishment
The only plausible explanation is that he is punishing the movie-going public for something. Maybe he's taking that Oscar loss hard…I'd be upset too if I lost out to Alan Arkin, who died halfway through Little Miss Sunshine. But upset enough to drop Norbit on innocent civilians? Not so much.
Look at Robin Williams' career trajectory. The guy started out playing an alien on Happy Days, moved away from comedies in the late 80s, and won the Oscar by the time the new millennium rolled around. It's like Eddie's trying to sabotage his own career; he's done the exact opposite since 2000, bringing us such gems as Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps, Dr. Doolittle 2, Daddy Day Care, etc. And just when you thought he'd abandoned the tired "starring Eddie Murphy as every character" shtick, he goes and does this summer's Meet Dave, about a giant Eddie Murphy who is actually a spaceship filled with little Eddie Murphys. Sounds like a joke, but sadly it's not. It's actually a nightmare I had last week. At least he's making strides-no fat suits in sight here.
2. The seemingly endless praise for Panic at the Disco's new album, Pretty. Odd.
Panic at the Disco is like Cady in Mean Girls; it's trying to be something its not, while it was perfectly good before. But while Cady went from mathlete to Queen Bee and excelled in that position, Panic quit writing mediocre emo songs in hopes of channeling a late sixties/early seventies psychedelic rock vibe. Well you know that phrase "everything old is new again?" In this case, it's not. The shameless "borrowing" from Sgt. Pepper's and ELO aside, at least the band didn't think they were actually doing something new or special. Except there's that pretentious intro, which has them announcing "We're so sorry we've been gone / We were busy writing songs for you!" What makes you think anyone missed you guys? (If you think this is harsh, just listen to "Folkin' Around" and tell me it's not a sin AND a tragedy.)
3. Nobody watches How I Met Your Mother
Come on people, this show is so great. It's one of the few consistently funny sitcoms left on television, and the ensemble cast is incredible; who knew that an adult (and openly gay) Doogie Howser could pull off a fast-talking, suit-sporting womanizer? The dialogue is witty and the characters are dynamic; even dimwitted Marshall (a brilliant Jason Segal), who initially represented the stock comedic relief ala 70's Show's Kelso and Friends' Phoebe, has been granted a serious storyline this season. And did I mention Bob Saget narrates?
4. Everyone watches Two and a Half Men
Come on people, this show is so terrible. Remember what I said about stock comedic relief? Well that's Two and a Half Men in a nutshell, if the nutshell was wearing Charlie Sheen's retro bowling shirts on every single episode. Tune in a half hour earlier for How I Met Your Mother. Continuing with the Mean Girls references, Janis says, "There are two kinds of evil people…people who do evil stuff. And people who see evil stuff being done and don't do anything to stop it." Do the right thing: you can help dethrone this atrocity as TV's top rated comedy, renew Mother for a fourth season, and generate world peace.
The only plausible explanation is that he is punishing the movie-going public for something. Maybe he's taking that Oscar loss hard…I'd be upset too if I lost out to Alan Arkin, who died halfway through Little Miss Sunshine. But upset enough to drop Norbit on innocent civilians? Not so much.
Look at Robin Williams' career trajectory. The guy started out playing an alien on Happy Days, moved away from comedies in the late 80s, and won the Oscar by the time the new millennium rolled around. It's like Eddie's trying to sabotage his own career; he's done the exact opposite since 2000, bringing us such gems as Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps, Dr. Doolittle 2, Daddy Day Care, etc. And just when you thought he'd abandoned the tired "starring Eddie Murphy as every character" shtick, he goes and does this summer's Meet Dave, about a giant Eddie Murphy who is actually a spaceship filled with little Eddie Murphys. Sounds like a joke, but sadly it's not. It's actually a nightmare I had last week. At least he's making strides-no fat suits in sight here.
2. The seemingly endless praise for Panic at the Disco's new album, Pretty. Odd.
Panic at the Disco is like Cady in Mean Girls; it's trying to be something its not, while it was perfectly good before. But while Cady went from mathlete to Queen Bee and excelled in that position, Panic quit writing mediocre emo songs in hopes of channeling a late sixties/early seventies psychedelic rock vibe. Well you know that phrase "everything old is new again?" In this case, it's not. The shameless "borrowing" from Sgt. Pepper's and ELO aside, at least the band didn't think they were actually doing something new or special. Except there's that pretentious intro, which has them announcing "We're so sorry we've been gone / We were busy writing songs for you!" What makes you think anyone missed you guys? (If you think this is harsh, just listen to "Folkin' Around" and tell me it's not a sin AND a tragedy.)
3. Nobody watches How I Met Your Mother
Come on people, this show is so great. It's one of the few consistently funny sitcoms left on television, and the ensemble cast is incredible; who knew that an adult (and openly gay) Doogie Howser could pull off a fast-talking, suit-sporting womanizer? The dialogue is witty and the characters are dynamic; even dimwitted Marshall (a brilliant Jason Segal), who initially represented the stock comedic relief ala 70's Show's Kelso and Friends' Phoebe, has been granted a serious storyline this season. And did I mention Bob Saget narrates?
4. Everyone watches Two and a Half Men
Come on people, this show is so terrible. Remember what I said about stock comedic relief? Well that's Two and a Half Men in a nutshell, if the nutshell was wearing Charlie Sheen's retro bowling shirts on every single episode. Tune in a half hour earlier for How I Met Your Mother. Continuing with the Mean Girls references, Janis says, "There are two kinds of evil people…people who do evil stuff. And people who see evil stuff being done and don't do anything to stop it." Do the right thing: you can help dethrone this atrocity as TV's top rated comedy, renew Mother for a fourth season, and generate world peace.
Be the first to comment on this story